tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46305741910710969112024-03-13T03:46:07.228-07:00Dear AmandaUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630574191071096911.post-71970632243631548112007-12-29T00:22:00.000-08:002007-12-29T08:56:50.987-08:00Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630574191071096911.post-90651981437703085512007-10-26T21:51:00.000-07:002007-10-26T22:01:19.129-07:00someone's julietthere<br />are more and more<br />of these nights now.<br /><br />the: "under the sheets<br />I'm not coming<br />out never."<br />nights.<br /><br />and<br />and then<br />your<br />corduroy\voice<br />shakes<br />me alive.<br /><br />if a girl<br />who paints<br />on her<br />eyebrows<br />can<br />deal.<br /><br />so can i.<br /><br />and<br />so.<br /><br />here i am.<br /><br />writing alone,<br />to<br />a you that will<br />never<br />hear my<br />distant whisper<br />of praise<br />and love<br />and crushed cigarette hopes<br />and<br />it's<br />raining<br />in my soup again,<br />a plum<br />red sky<br />swallowed<br />all the decent in my bones.<br /><br />what does<br />it feel like to wake up next to:<br />all you ever needed.<br /><br />an empty? a want? a calm?<br />i don't<br />know<br />but i'd sure like to try it out<br />for a day or 10.<br /><br />and<br />i <br />just know<br />you<br />are<br />are<br />are<br />definitely<br />someones juliet.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630574191071096911.post-37199792952783012032007-10-06T00:10:00.000-07:002007-10-06T00:17:55.200-07:00the problem with picturesorange street lights,<br />serenade,<br />our dance.<br /><br />boots kick<br />the sidewalk<br />slush.<br /><br />i,<br />couldn't<br />wait<br />for<br />every<br />day to begin.<br /><br />and<br />then<br />they all ended.<br /><br />they all<br />gave out,<br />like a chair with<br />half sawed legs.<br /><br />the ceiling<br />fan laughing<br />at me.<br /><br />its cool.<br />its cool.<br />its cool.<br /><br />i'll just<br />pretend.<br /><br />i never fell.<br /><br />and i'll keep all your secrets.<br />and i'll never give out your real name.<br />and i'll ever always never forget to remember<br />the day you left.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630574191071096911.post-83928396503913042012007-08-05T17:56:00.000-07:002007-08-05T18:01:00.741-07:00Dear AmandaThis one is for you.<br /><br /><br />its temporary blindness,<br />that thing,<br />the thing you're looking for.<br /><br />the forgetting<br />all about the everything<br />of everyday.<br /><br />the<br />one little hope<br />that tramples<br />its muddy feet<br />all over the carpet<br />inside.<br /><br />and you don't<br />even get out the hoover<br />or<br />the scrubber.<br /><br />because you like it messy.<br /><br />its been too long.<br /><br />its been too long,<br />but its right<br />there under<br />the blue<br />next door to green.<br /><br />reach out<br />and take a swig.<br /><br />he's standing<br />at your door.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630574191071096911.post-58710061771916762552007-05-09T23:26:00.001-07:002007-05-09T23:26:47.075-07:00forever, girldink-dank,<br />a long<br />handled spoon<br />againstaglass<br />of late afternoon iced-tea.<br /><br />the sun melts<br />us.<br />sweating<br />away nevers<br />on a bruised porch.<br /><br />our swing.<br />our life.<br />our kids.<br />our choices.<br /><br />the plains<br />stretch<br />past the past<br />we left behind.<br /><br />a newer<br />you,<br />the old me,<br />x's and o's.<br /><br />forever, girl.<br />we said forever, girl.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630574191071096911.post-35647413859940221822007-05-07T07:22:00.001-07:002007-05-07T07:22:34.453-07:00andshe said:<br />i don't want to be<br />in love with you anymore.<br /><br />he said:<br />i was never<br />in love with<br />you or anyone. i don't know<br />what love is, just like<br />jane says.<br /><br />it's not<br />this, though,<br />the leaves<br />are a beautifulorange.<br /><br />and<br />ya useta<br />smell so good,<br />like<br />the last day of school.<br /><br />but<br />thats probably<br />not enough, that's not "it"<br />and won't be.<br />even even even<br />if we try harder and pretend<br />the yellow<br />brick<br />road<br />isn't specked<br />with blood.<br /><br />will you<br />remember to<br />close the door<br />when you leave for a week<br />without saying bye. or hi, when you return<br />with bags under your eyes, and a new<br />smell.<br />a new, i'vefallenagainpleasehelp, smell.<br /><br />and i do. and i do. and i do.<br /><br />but this is the last time.<br />babe, this is the last time<br />I<br />fix you.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630574191071096911.post-50700640886134184682007-04-05T21:50:00.000-07:002007-04-05T21:56:00.761-07:00This time,This time, it hurt.<br />This time, I believe you.<br />This time, he's not coming back.<br />This time, wasn't a mistake.<br />This time, the shoulder went missing.<br />This time, sorry was too late.<br />This time, we stopped forgiving.<br />This time, the bruise.<br />This time, you remembered the last time.<br />This time, there is no next time.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630574191071096911.post-589779687557163592007-04-03T23:37:00.000-07:002007-04-03T23:40:52.575-07:00unknowingI'm OK.<br />unknowing<br />certainties.<br /><br />I'm<br />OK.<br />pretending.<br /><br />I'm looking<br />forward.<br /><br />and expecting<br />a whole lot less<br />than you.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630574191071096911.post-1561327130544924002007-04-01T20:56:00.000-07:002007-04-01T21:03:01.676-07:00umbrella1. <br />my day off.<br /><br />daylight in the city.<br /><br />alone.<br /><br />step in step<br />with<br />motivation.<br /><br />standing<br />among giants.<br /><br />my mind<br />swirls.<br />stare at feet<br />for balance.<br /><br />2.<br />pitter patter.<br /><br />rain.<br /><br />umbrella.<br />stoplight.<br />traffic.<br /><br />4.<br />umbrella.<br />chinese food.<br /><br />5.<br />umbrella.<br />loft.<br /><br />6.<br />the<br />lover<br />walks to the<br />bathroom<br />alone,<br />on the tile floor,<br />with bare<br />feet.<br /><br />8.<br />pitter patter.<br />shower water.<br /><br />rinse away<br />your smell,<br />your touch,<br />not the memory.<br /><br />9.<br />the shower water stops.<br />drippity drop.<br /><br />3.<br />umbrella,<br />i forgot my umbrella.<br />"would you walk with me"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630574191071096911.post-19943898222252210932007-03-28T21:47:00.000-07:002007-03-28T21:54:01.222-07:00androgynousi'm listening<br />to<br />the replacements.<br /><br />i'm listening<br />to<br />androgynous.<br /><br />its a beautiful<br />thought.<br /><br />its a beautiful<br />love.<br /><br />i'm thinking deep.<br />i'm thinking lost.<br /><br />and it seems so large.<br />so everywhere.<br /><br />and it seems so right.<br />so nowhere.<br /><br />fast.<br /><br />i'm thinking love.<br />i'm thinking romance.<br /><br />and it seems so far.<br />so somewhere.<br /><br />and it seems so long.<br />so ago.<br /><br />slower.<br /><br />thats how we do it.<br /><br />in here.<br />in wait.<br />in me.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630574191071096911.post-83065500945569448762007-03-26T23:30:00.000-07:002009-11-05T13:22:28.414-08:00Jane the Ecdysiast's Everywhere DaysJane dances.<br />In silver heels, high as two phonebooks.<br />Janet sashays.<br />Blows winks and kisses, dripping bargain-bin red lipstick.<br /><br />Jane disrobes.<br />First her bra and then the rest.<br />Jane blushes.<br />Underneath ten years of makeup and rewashed hope.<br /><br />Ten absent men<br />swallow cheap beer and<br />forget about their wives, girlfriends.<br />their whomevers.<br /><br />Ten, worked men clutching oily<br />dollars, gnarled, angry dollars, between<br />calloused, tar-stained fingers.<br /><br />Glug, Glug,<br />another bra hits the ground.<br /><br />Jane once had a clever idea for the name<br />of a lipstick color. She'll never remember it now.<br />and blushes every time she tries.<br /><br />Another ten men.<br />hot stage lights reflect off flop sweat.<br /><br />Glug Glug.<br />thrill-less, pill-less and broke.<br />Nowhere else to go.<br /><br />Jane collects dollars from the stage.<br />Jane, she uses the name Stormy, pushes<br />another drunk hand away from her<br />too naked legs.<br /><br />Where is the bouncer when you need him.<br />Out back with Jade. That's why she gets<br />the good shifts.<br /><br />What was the name of that lipstick color,<br />she begs herself, sweating through<br />the powder on her face. mascara starting<br />to run.<br /><br />Another grunt from the front.<br />An old man with a white beard<br />has fallen asleep.<br /><br />Jane sleeps around, drunk.<br />You lose your self respect after a while.<br />Not because of the job, because of the men.<br />Maybe It was stolen a long time ago.<br />Maybe too long and so far gone<br />it wont ever come back.<br /><br />The front door opens and the stage<br />drowns in real light, daylight,<br />and brows crinkle and angry men slur<br />hate from sulky, puffy faces. and another<br />groping fatso stumbles to the stage.<br /><br />That's how it goes.<br />That's a real job.<br /><br />That's the suffer the kids<br />won't ever know about.<br /><br />That's Jane the Ecdysiast's Everywhere Days.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630574191071096911.post-57934772752947842492007-03-25T17:44:00.000-07:002007-03-25T17:46:29.478-07:00bruisesyou asked me one<br />last time before<br />the door closed.<br /><br />it felt<br />like finishing<br />the last<br />word<br />on the last page<br />of that really<br />great novel.<br /><br />a smile<br />reserved<br />for the friend who<br />tries to cheer<br />you up at a funeral.<br /><br />that night:<br />next year's you listened<br />to <br />my sorries<br />at a pub<br />that echoed<br />slide guitar and misery<br />from the jukebox.<br /><br />we slo-danced<br />until i was dizzy with three z's.<br /><br />i was still<br />thinking about<br />answering your<br />question.<br /><br />you were ten miles<br />from never again.<br /><br />and i was<br />ready for<br />one more round.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630574191071096911.post-76178968183764626262007-03-19T23:42:00.000-07:002007-03-19T23:46:10.341-07:00bedtime storiessmack! pop!<br />another opened beercan<br />ends the quiet.<br /><br />i'm alone<br />in<br />bed, waiting.<br /><br />the house is black<br />except for you<br />and<br />the lazy boy and a busted TV.<br /><br />wide awake.<br />eyes pinched shut.<br /><br />i never told you this, but i can't<br />sleep until<br />you're<br />next to me:<br /><br />breathing your<br />unbrushed liquor<br />breath<br />around the room,<br />like an overworked engine.<br /><br />it's a bit silly.<br />i agree.<br />and<br />i really would like to know<br />why i stay, but i do.<br /><br />and<br />its been 2 months since<br />you've kissed me goodnight,<br />a year, since<br />we last slept together,<br />and forever<br />since i remember thinking:<br />i love you.<br /><br />but you're still<br />my<br />bedtime<br />story.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4630574191071096911.post-1732697574020269352007-03-19T23:35:00.000-07:002007-03-19T23:38:00.970-07:00me in a bottleI never gave up.<br />thats just something we say<br />after we've already given up,<br />or at<br />the very least<br />thought long and hard about<br />giving up.<br /><br />so, i lied.<br />i did giveup.<br />i just never told anyone.<br />i went on<br />pretending<br />like always<br />pretending<br />pretending.<br />to be your everything.<br />your pills<br />your hugs<br />your eyes<br />your mouth<br />your<br />libido<br />your backbone<br />and nerve<br /><br />i'm not afraid to be wrong.<br />i'm afraid that i am.<br />and what that means.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0